The Beginning of Fang Fridays
Good Friday, I know the city getting ready for me
Welcome Friends
Leaving Silicon Valley has instilled a strange, strange energy that I can’t quite place my finger on. Packing my bags to go to Asia has been quite the roller coaster, with many ups and downs. Many moments of timid self doubt, red-hot frustration, but also pristine clarity, and stepping out of my frame of mind to look at myself in another lens.
Optimism has always walked with me, side by side. But it has dawned on me that optimism does best with action, and getting over the fear of the unknown. They both go well hand in hand.
I found that that the world is really full of opportunity, and with calculated risk, the world is truly and can be my oyster. Coming here to Asia has cast away the rose-colored glasses of living large on a Silicon Valley tech job salary. Comfort is not my end goal—it is the satisfaction of going after what I pursue, fail or achieve, but having done so to at least try it out.
I have finally decided to stop living life on the terms that were handed to me (as decided as I was dangling and admiring the vineyards of Blenheim, New Zealand in photo below). So this newsletter is an ongoing compilation of my learnings, hardships, and my life’s enjoyments—I hope you enjoy life as much as I try to.
Fear of Risk vs Lack of Freedom
Over a zoom call, a friend once blitzed me with questions about why I would pick up my things and just leave SF. She grew up in China and was raising her family in San Mateo, and reiterated the fact that it was insane for me to just decide I would quit my job and do a random 3 months of travel, with so much uncertainty. Born with a work hard mentality, she said it was just the norm to follow the pattern: find a steady career (doctor, engineer, lawyer, academic), find a husband, get a good job, and grow a family.
My actions were atypical and riddled with risk bombs, but I told her I use calculated risk. I agree—there is risk in my career development, but I was never one to climb a corporate ladder and I wasn’t going to become a NASA astronaut anyways. In addition, I saved in preparation for this trip; I had personally set aside 10K just for this because I actually didn’t know when I’d return.
I knew she was coming from a good place, but I was not one to be lectured or coddled; I didn’t need a mother figure, I just needed my friend. (Plus, my own mum is amazing and understands that I must spread my wings, but returns to the nest.)
But as I grew older in my years, I realized my fear wasn’t of risk. I made many risks growing up, and had been accustomed to failures and again, optimism plays a major role in this. While others define success by monetary gains, a high paying job, or a certain level of achievement, I define my own by the many risks that I take and if I was brave enough to try it. I reframed my thinking, and realized my actual fear is losing my independence—being tied down to one place constantly, being controlled by a certain job or company, or suffocated by an environment I hate…that is my fear: lack of freedom to go and leave as I please.
What You Should Take Away From This
Take risks when you’re younger, and then pivot to make calculated risks as you grow into your years.
Societal norms suck—don’t be a sheep. You don’t always have to follow the terms of life before you sign. Be the joyous dog instead.
See you next Fri-yay!
- Em
Want to connect? Drop me a message at emilyifang@gmail.com.
Find me on IG at thefanggirl or for your money woes, at youngmoneyplans.
Also on Twitter.